The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game by Michael Lewis

“In Lawrence Taylor’s first season in the NFL, no official records were kept of quarterback sacks. In 1982, after Taylor had transformed the quarterback sack into the turning point of a football game, a new official NFL statistic was born.”
– Chapter 1, pg. 14

“Michael Oher had a measured IQ of 80, which put him in mankind’s 9th percentile. An aptitude test he had taken in the eighth grade had measured his “ability to learn” and ranked him in the 6th percentile. The numbers looked like misprints: in a rich white private school, under the column marked ‘percentile,’ you never saw single digit numbers. Of course, logically, you knew such people must exist; for someone to be in the 99th percentile, someone else had to be in the 1st. But you didn’t expect to meet them at Briarcrest Christian School.” – Chapter 3, pg. 45

“Without uttering a peep, the kid had become the talk of the school. Everyone was frightened of him, until they realized that he was far more terrified of them.” – Chapter 3, pg. 57

“One of his more talented teammates, Joseph Crone, thought Michael Oher’s main contribution came before the game, when the opposing team stumbled out of their locker room or their bus, and took the measure of the Briarcrest Christian School. ‘They’d see all of us,’ said Crone, ‘and then they’d see Mike and say, oh crap.’” – Chapter 4, pg. 69

“Bill Walsh made the quarterback a lot more valuable, and so the man who protected the quarterback was going to be a whole lot more valuable, too. Whoever he was, he was going to have to be special.” – Chapter 5, pg. 113

“Leigh Anne snapped the family Christmas card picture and sent it out to several hundred friends and distant relatives, without it ever occurring to her that most of the recipients would have no idea about the strange new addition to the family. A few weeks later, the phone rang late one night. It was a North Carolina cousin. ‘All right,’ he blurted into the phone. ‘Who the hell is this black kid in y’all’s Christmas card?’” – Chapter 7, pg. 147

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from The Blind Side by Michael Lewis.

Two years ago, while watching the Super Bowl (don’t bother asking me who was playing or which team won), my guy friend told me about this book. He insisted that I would love it even though I didn’t know the first thing about

football (expect that it's not soccer). I humored him and continued to root for the team with the prettiest colors, cutest mascot or sexiest quarterback, not truly believing I could endure 300 pages of sports lingo. I ended up buying the book a few weeks later and stashing it under my bed until I heard Sandra Bullock was to star in the movie adaptation. Turns out my friend was right: I laughed, I cried, I laughed again, I went through ten boxes of Kleenex, and I actually learned a little bit about the invention of “the passing game” and how some guy named Lawrence Taylor is responsible for the increased interest in the left tackle position. I feel so well-rounded.

The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins

“Intelligent life on a planet comes of
age when it first works out the reason for its own existence. If superior creatures from space ever visit earth, the first question they will ask, in order to assess the level of our civilization, is: 'Have they discovered evolution yet?'”
– Chapter 1, pg. 1

“Be warned that if you wish, as I do, to build a society in which individuals cooperate generously and unselfishly towards a common good, you can expect little help from biological nature. Let us try to teach generosity and altruism, because we are born selfish. Let us understand what our own selfish genes are up to, because we may then at least have the chance to upset their designs, something that no other species has ever aspired to.” – Chapter 1, pg. 3

“Before the coming of life on earth, some rudimentary evolution of molecules could have occurred by ordinary processes of physics and chemistry. There is no need to think of design or purpose or directedness. If a group of atoms in the presence of energy falls into a stable pattern it will tend to stay that way. The earliest form of natural selection was simply a selection of stable forms and a rejection of unstable ones. There is no mystery about this. It had to happen by definition.” – Chapter 2, pg. 13

“Evolution is blind to the future.” – Chapter 9, pg. 162

“Replicators are no longer peppered freely throughout the sea; they are packaged in huge colonies - individual bodies. But the individual body, so familiar to us on our planet, did not have to exist. The only kind of entity that has to exist in order for life to arise, anywhere in the universe, is the immortal replicator.” – Chapter 13, pg. 266

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins.

If it wasn’t copyright infringement, I would quote the entire second chapter of this book! Dawkins' argument for how life could have begun (without the help of divine intervention) is incredible! As an atheist, I do not base my morals or personal principles on anyone’s explanation of the origins of life. Jesus could have been wrong, just as Dawkins’ theory could be disproved in the years to come. Neither of these revelations will change how I act towards others or

feel about my own life. But the explanation provided in this book is exhilarating because it follows that humans are nothing – nothing but survival machines (to use Dawkins’ terminology) molded by natural selection and used by our egotistical genes for their own selfish propagation. How depressing! But oh, how liberating! To have no purpose in life (other than to house and spread our genes) is a scary thought, to be sure, but frees each of us from the shackles of some predetermined reason for existing. If you wish to make light of it all, you can thank Richard Dawkins for successfully reasoning that you are required to do no more in life than keep yourself alive and have sex!

Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls

“She wore tight corsets to give her a teeny waist – I helped her lace them up – but they had the effect of causing her to faint. Mom called it the vapors and said that it was a sign of her high breeding and delicate nature. I thought it was a sign that the corset made it hard to breathe.” – Chapter 1, pg. 18

“I always figured horses are smarter than they let on. Kind of like the Indians who pretend they can’t speak English because no good ever came from talking with the Anglos.” – Chapter 1, pg. 22

“Mom hinted a couple of times that it was good I was going to college, since with one failed marriage behind me, I’d have trouble landing a good husband and would need something to fall back on. ‘A package that’s been opened once doesn’t have the same appeal,’ she said.” – Chapter 4, pg. 89

“When people kill themselves, they think they’re ending the pain, but all they’re doing is passing it on to those they leave behind.” – Chapter 5, pg. 113

“For the most part, pioneers and ranchers didn’t have the time or money for gift giving and tree trimming, and they tended to treat Christmas like Prohibition, another eastern aberration that wasn’t of much concern to them. A couple of years back, when some missionaries were trying to dazzle the Navajos into converting, they had a gift-bearing Santa Claus jump out of a plane, but his parachute didn’t open, and he landed with a thud in front of the Indians, convincing them – and most of the rest of us – that the less we had to do with jolly old Saint Nick, the better off we’d be.” – Chapter 6, pg. 176

“Anyone who thinks he’s too small to make a difference has never been bit by a mosquito.” – Chapter 8, pg.246

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls.

I’m pleasantly surprised this book didn’t make me want to kill someone. Unlike The Glass Castle, I actually liked the main characters. (I think their hatred for Rex Walls might have had something to do with it). Perhaps, this time around, I was mentally prepared for the author’s exaggerations.

However, what's up with the contradictory statement on the cover? A true-life novel? That makes sense. Walls even admits in the acknowledgments that she never talked to her grandmother. Instead, her mom was "so very unfailingly generous with her stories, memories and observations.” Or, in other words, Rose Mary made up a bunch of crap that wasn’t true and Jeannette used it to write another “interesting woman” story where she could throw in the book’s title about a half a dozen times. I do love her sense of humor though. Plus, it was a very quick read. Just steer clear if you are of Mormon faith – there is a good chance you might be offended.

I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert

“Just because I haven’t put a lot of thought into this book doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t. What I have dictated is nothing less than a Constitution for the Colbert Nation. And, like our Founding Fathers, I hold my Truths to be self-evident, which is why I did absolutely no research.”
– Introduction, pg. ix

“We are at war. And I’m not talking about the war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan, or the war on drugs. I’m talking about a war with higher stakes than all of those other wars combined and then divided by three.” – Chapter 1, pg. 5

“There’s more to being a father than taking kids to Chuck E. Cheese’s and supplying the occasional Y-chromosome. A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?” – Chapter 1, pg. 7

“If a butterfly flaps its wings in one part of the world, it could cause people at the opposite end of the globe to watch a Discovery Channel special on butterflies.” – Chapter 4, pg. 47

“A recent survey published in the American Sociological Review revealed that atheists are the least trusted group in America – less trusted, even, than homosexuals. It makes sense – at least we trust the homosexuals with our hair.” – Chapter 4, pg.61

“Every society has its own class structure with a unique number of classes. India has one of the most rigid and complex class structures. Based upon their behavior in past lives, all Indians are born into different stratas of society called 'castes.' These castes forever determine what level of tech support questions they are allowed to answer.” – Chapter 11, pg. 162

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert.

I advise against reading this in a public place – I honestly laughed out loud at least a dozen times! I freaking love this man’s show. Although, someone from Charter needs to address the fact that my DVR records repeats of the Colbert Report even after I program it to only record new episodes. Perhaps my cable

company has a deal with Comedy Central? At any rate, it’s funny how you can practically hear Stephen saying the words in your head as you read them. There were some parts of his book that were rather dull, but I think I’ll attribute this to having read the entire thing in one sitting. You can only take so much comedy in a twenty-four hour period. Perhaps this is the reason his show is only thirty minutes long? Still, Colbert brings the satirical genius. As said by an anonymous reviewer on Amazon: "If I had a womb and the other necessary parts, I would offer to bear Stephen Colbert's children because America needs more people like him." Amen.

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

“Everything seems simple until you think about it. Why is love intensified by absence? Long ago, men went to sea, and women waited for them, standing on the edge of the water, scanning the horizon for the tiny ship. Now I wait for Henry. He vanishes unwillingly, without warning. I wait for him. Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity. Each moment is as slow and transparent as glass. Through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. Why has he gone where I cannot follow?”
– Chapter 1, pg. 1

"Think for a minute, darling: in fairy tales it's always the children who have the fine adventures. The mothers have to stay at home and wait for the children to fly in the window."
– Chapter 8, pg. 126

"Don't you think that it's better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it, than to be just okay for your whole life?" – Chapter 13, pg. 231

"I never understood why Clark Kent was so hell bent on keeping Lois Lane in the dark." – Chapter 36, pg. 446

“Sleep erases all differences: then and now; dead and living. I am past hunger, past vanity, past caring. This morning I caught sight of my face in the bathroom mirror. I am paper skinned, gaunt, yellow, ring-eyed, hair matted. I look dead. I want nothing.” – Chapter 44, pg. 501

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.

Is there an editor in the house? This book did not need to be 518 pages. I actually started and stopped this book months ago because I didn't like the idea of a 40-year-old man visiting his future wife as a six year old. Naked. Did

you get that? Naked. Publisher: This has best seller written all over it! Me: ...Really? Only my love for Rachel McAdams forced me to give Niffenegger a second chance. At least she would occasionally whip out some crazy/disturbing situation right in the middle of a boring chapter. You know, some so-sick-it-sticks plot twist (say that five times fast). Watch, in 2025 I'll be sitting on some train to Vienna minding my own business when out of nowhere I'll remember how Henry's future self gave himself a blow job or how Clare had a miscarriage because their baby time traveled out of her uterus and ended up a bloody mess in the bed next to her. Joy.

My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult

“Gamma rays, leukemia, parenthood. It is the things you cannot see coming that are strong enough to kill you.”
– Chapter 10, pg, 105

“Summertime, I think, is a collective unconscious. We all remember the notes that made up the song of the ice cream man; we all know what it feels like to brand our thighs on a playground slide that’s heated up like a knife in a fire; we all have lain on our backs with our eyes closed and our hearts beating across the surface of our lids, hoping that this day will stretch just a little longer than the last one, when in fact it’s all going in the other direction.” – Chapter 29, pg. 279

“Change isn’t always for the worst; the shell that forms around a piece of sand looks to some people like an irritation, and to others, like a pearl.”
– Chapter 37, pg. 350

“I realize then that we never have children, we receive them. And sometimes it’s not for quite as long as we would have expected or hoped. But it is still far better than never having had those children at all.” – Chapter 46, pg. 395

“None of us is obligated to go into a fire and save someone else from a burning building. But all that changes if you’re a parent and the person in that burning building is your child. If that’s the case, not only would everyone understand if you ran in to get your child – they’d expect it of you. In my life, that building was on fire, one of my children was in it – and the only opportunity to save her was to send in my other child, because she was the only one who knew the way.” – Chapter 51, pg. 406

“As much as you want to hold on to the bitter sore memory that someone has left this world, you are still in it. And the very act of living is a tide: at first it seems to make no difference at all, and then one day you look down and see how much pain has eroded.” – Chapter 56, pg. 422

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult.

The first time I heard about this book was back in 2006 during a group discussion for my Issues in Biotechnology capstone course. My classmate made it sound like an interesting PGD read (which stands for preimplantation genetic diagnosis and not some variation of the MPAA’s film rating system),

so I made a mental note to pick it up someday. Fast forward three years (has it really been that long?), and I find out my favorite 6-year-old, Olivia Hancock, is starring in the movie opposite Cameron Diaz. My best friend is Olivia’s babysitter from time to time. I took her to the zoo once, bought her a stuffed giraffe. Woo-hoo, I’m basically famous (note the sarcasm). So my goal was to read the book before seeing the movie. It’s your typical Picoult. Lots of viewpoint switcheroos, similes (a few that didn’t make any sense), an endless supply of in-your-face metaphors, and your obligatory surprise ending. On the grocery list this week: Kleenex.

The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory

“Everyone knew that he was courting me, everyone knew that I would consent when I was ordered to do so. The only person who did not know this was the king. He thought that the pace of the courtship was determined by his desire.” – Chapter 2, pg. 35

“Oh what a tragedy queen! You can smile when your heart is breaking because you are a woman, and a courtier, and a Howard. That’s three reasons for being the most deceitful creature on God’s green earth.”
– Chapter 4, pg. 98

“If there had been money on it I think I would be getting out my purse. You Boleyns only lose when there is nothing to gain by winning.” – Chapter 5, pg. 125

“We are making a new order. A new world. There is talk of the end of the authority of the Pope, the map of France and Spain is being redrawn. Everything is changing, and here we are, at the very front of the change. But you cannot refuse me. The world’s not changed that much yet. Men still rule.” – Chapter 11, pg. 191

“He was the father of my children and yet he would have no interest in them until they were old enough for him to use as counters in the game of inheritance. He had been my lover for years and yet it had been my task to make sure that he never knew me. As he lay on me, I felt as lonely as if I were the ship which bore my name, out all alone at sea.” – Chapter 13, pg. 211

“‘I have to be queen,’ was all she said. ‘And you have to help me. You know that’s how it is, Mary. Only a fool rails against the way the dice fall.’ ‘They’re weighted dice when I play with you,’ I said.” – Chapter 21, pg. 313

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory.

I must be a plot junkie. Even if a book is written badly, I just have to know what happens next. Had I paid any attention in history class, I doubt I would have been turning pages like paper is going out of style (damn you, Kindle).

But since I had no clue what would happen to Anne Boleyn (much less Mary), I found myself nervously fretting over whether this pregnancy would finally result in a boy for the throne. Don’t get me wrong: the character development is terrible. Zero sympathy for either of the Boleyn girls (and pretty much everyone else in the story). My biggest problem with the book was the repetitiveness of it all: spring, summer, fall, winter. I understand seasons repeat, but that doesn’t mean Gregory’s writing must do the same (and by same, I mean 661 pages of same). The most interesting stuff was the witchcraft and incest. Too bad that didn’t make an appearance until page… what? 660?

My Friend Leonard by James Frey

“Sometimes I talk to the paintings, to the figures in the paintings. I ask a farmer how’s the weather, I ask a singer what’s the song, I ask a baby what’s your name, I ask a young woman why are you crying? I stand in front of Vincent’s self-portrait. Vincent who knew pain and failure, who knew self-doubt and insanity, who cut off his ear, who shot himself. I know Vincent well. I have nothing to say to him.”
– Chapter 17, pg. 95

“I meet a man at a bar while I’m waiting for my friends. He says he’s forty-five, he looks like he’s twenty-five. I ask him if he has a secret he says never get angry and be as immature as you can for as long as you can get away with it. A man sitting next to him laughs and says that's bullshit, the great secret is eat food and drink beer till you drop.” – Chapter 19, pg. 105

“There is peace in pain so overwhelming that it shuts down all feeling. It is the only peace I know.” – Chapter 20, pg. 106

“It takes a brave man to walk away, to care so much that he doesn’t care about anything else, to be willing to obey what he feels inside, to be willing to suffer the consequences of living for himself.” – Chapter 25, pg. 129

“The bars are filled with beautiful young people. It’s as if the three best-looking people from every town in the country have come to Los Angeles. Everyone wants to be famous, everyone is well-connected. Everyone is just a step or two away they’re waiting for that break it’s almost there they can taste it fucking taste it.” – Chapter 50, pg. 220

“Leonard asks me if there’s anything I need to know before he dies, I think about it for a minute, turn to him, say what’s the meaning of life, Leonard? He laughs, says that’s an easy one, my son, it’s whatever you want it to be.”
– Chapter 91, pg. 336

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from My Friend Leonard by James Frey.

I regret reading this. Damn sequels. I was happy thinking Frey had managed to overcome his addictions all by himself. But no, he had Leonard (the leader of an organized crime operation), who spoiled him with steak dinners, Picasso paintings, courtside basketball seats… you name it. Then tops it all off by leaving Frey a massive amount of money (does he really expect us to believe

he turned it down?). I think having a sugar daddy like Leonard would get anyone through the post-rehab blues. Too bad Frey himself admits there’s not much truth to his memoirs. I’m starting to feel like running through my local Borders with a big, fat Sharpie (the cool, clickety-click retractable kind) and crossing out the word “memoir” anywhere I see it. When did society decide ‘based on a true story’ wasn’t good enough? Oh well. I’m just surprised his repeated omission of punctuation (same as the first book) didn’t bother me too much. Maybe I read so fast my mind puts the periods and commas in for me? I’d make a terrible editor.

A Million Little Pieces by James Frey

“I am an alcoholic and a drug addict
and a criminal. I am worse than I have ever been in my life. I am in a clinic somewhere in Minnesota. I want to drink and I want to smoke crack even though I know drinking and smoking crack are killing me. I am alone. If I leave the clinic my family and my remaining friends will write me off. I hate myself so much that I can’t look myself in the eye. I hate myself so much that suicide seems like a reasonable option. I have destroyed every meaningful relationship I’ve ever had. I am vomiting for the seventh time today. The seventh fucking time. I can't do this anymore. I cannot continue to live this way. I cannot continue to live this way.” – Chapter 7, pg. 70

“I have been to AA meetings and I find their philosophy to be one of replacement. Replacement of one addiction with another addiction. Replacement of a chemical for a God and a meeting. There is no higher power or any God who is responsible for what I do and for what I have done and for who I am. There is no higher power or any God who will cure me. There is no meeting where any amount of whining, complaining and blaming is going to make me feel any better.” – Chapter 7, pg. 70

“Though they function as human beings, they function because of their meetings and their dogma and their God. Take away their meetings and their dogma and they have nothing. Take them away and they are back where they started. They have an addiction. Addictions need fuel. I am not convinced meetings and a dogma and a God can fuel mine. If joining AA is the only way to cure me, then I’m completely fucked.” – Chapter 7, pg. 72

“Addicts, as a group, generally score far above average on intelligence tests. I guess maybe we’re smart enough to have figured out how shitty things are and we decide addiction is the only way to deal with it.” – Chapter 10, pg. 149

“I don’t believe that addiction is a disease. Cancer is a disease. It takes over the body and destroys it. Addiction is not a disease. Not even close. Diseases are destructive medical conditions that human beings do not control. It cannot be dealt with using a group or a set of steps. It cannot be dealt with by talking about it. Addiction is a decision. It is a difficult one to make, but it is still a decision.” – Chapter 15, pg. 291

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from A Million Little Pieces by James Frey.

Frey did not disappoint. I was expecting him to pull a 180 on me and accept the AA bullshit. Instead, he stayed atheist and did better than all those lame Twelve Steppers combined. I really like his outlook on addiction and how he

says it’s not a disease, but a choice. The idea that AA is replacing one addiction with another is great. He's totally right. As for the whole Smoking Gun/Oprah controversy: I could care less if Lily slit her wrists instead of hanging herself (I'm just glad she's dead), or if the amount of time Frey spent in jail wasn’t actually three months, or if he didn’t really hit a police office with his car. You mean to tell me everything in a memoir must be 100% true? Because I’ve got a feeling that oxford shirt he borrowed from Warren was blue, not white (Gasp!). If anything, we should be concerned about Jeanette Wall’s memoir. Now there’s an author who has obviously lied to us.

My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey by Jill Bolte Taylor

“Everything in my visual world blended together, and with every pixel radiating energy, we all flowed en masse, together as one. It was impossible for me to distinguish the physical boundaries between objects because everything radiated with similar energy. It’s probably comparable to when people take off their glasses or put eye drops into their eyes – the edges become softer.” – Chapter 7, pg. 69

“In this shifted perception, it was impossible for me to perceive either physical or emotional loss because I was not capable of experiencing separation or individuality. Despite my neurological trauma, an unforgettable sense of peace pervaded my entire being and I felt calm.” – Chapter 7, pg. 70

“Recovery is often derailed by hopelessness.” – Chapter 11, pg. 95

“Peace is only a thought away, and all we have to do to access it is silence the voice of our dominating left mind.” – Chapter 13, pg. 111

“Feeling deep inner peace and sharing kindness is always a choice. Forgiving others and forgiving myself is always a choice. Seeing this moment as a perfect moment is always a choice. I’ve often wondered, if it’s a choice, then why would anyone choose anything other than happiness?”
– Chapter 19, pg. 172

“Knowing that I am a part of the cosmic flow makes me feel innately safe and experience my life as heaven on earth. How can I feel vulnerable when I cannot be separated from the greater whole? My left mind thinks of me as a fragile individual capable of losing life. My right mind realizes that the essence of my being has eternal life. Although I may lose these cells and my ability to perceive this three-dimensional world, my energy will merely absorb back into the tranquil sea of euphoria. Knowing this leaves me grateful for the time I have here as well as enthusiastically committed to the well-being of the cells that constitute my life.” – Chapter 19, pg. 160

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey by Jill Bolte Taylor.

Basically, this smart-as-hell Harvard brain scientist has a stroke (irony at its best). A malformed blood vessel ruptures and screws up the part of her brain responsible for discerning the physical boundaries of where our bodies end

and the rest of the world begins (this part is called the orientation-association cortex or OAC). She tries to describe what this feels like, giving the expression ‘at one with the universe’ a whole new meaning. I really like this idea: We are nothing more than our cells, which are nothing more than molecules, which are nothing more than atoms, which all spin with similar energy in this place we call the universe. Our cells actually have to trick us into believing there are boundaries that separate “us” from everything else. In fact, a whole part of our brain is dedicated to this trickery. Who knew! Now my lack of coordination makes sense. I blame my OAC.