The Girl Who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson

“She was genuinely worried. First Kalle Fucking Blomkvist, then the name Zala, and now Nils Fucking Slimebag Bjurman together with an alpha male on steroids with contacts in some gang of ex-con bikers. Within a few days, several ripples of disquiet had materialized in the orderly life Salander was trying to create for herself.” – Chapter 10, pg. 141

“The three parallel investigations into the murders in Enskede churned on. Officer Bubble’s investigation enjoyed the advantages of authority. On the surface, the solution seemed to lie within reach; they had a suspect and a murder weapon that was linked to the suspect. They had an ironclad connection to one victim and a possible connection via Blomkvist to the other two victims. For Bublanski it was now basically a matter of finding Salander and putting her in a cell in Kronoberg prison.” – Chapter 18, pg. 258

“When all the media assertions were put together, the police appeared to be hunting for a psychotic lesbian who had joined a cult of Satanists that propagandized for S&M sex and hated society in general and men in particular.” – Chapter 21, pg. 313

“I’ve never been sympathetic towards people who take the law into their own hands. But I’ve never heard of anyone who had such a good reason to do so. At the risk of sounding like a cynic, what happens tonight will happen, no matter what you or I think. It’s been written in the stars since she was born. And all that remains is for us to decide how we’re going to behave towards Lisbeth if she makes it back.” – Chapter 32, pg. 490

So those were some of my favorite quotes from The Girl Who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson

Again, I didn’t come across too many quotes worthy of copying down. Larsson seemed more concerned with storytelling than with describing mundane events in an interesting, amusing way that has never been done before. Which is probably best because “she had cut him out of her life as surgically and decisively as she deleted files from her computer” is one ridiculous metaphor. Let’s just blame the translator, shall we? Oh, and keeping with the status quo set by The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, it took 200 pages for this book to finally pull me in. In fact, for the first hundred pages or so, I was completely at a loss as to where the story was headed.

Is this going to be about some super hurricane/tornado named Matilda? Bjurman? Zala? Perhaps a 503 page spread advertising IKEA furniture? For a moment there, I mistakenly thought it I had picked up my old algebra textbook. At least this time the police were involved. It made things a little bit more realistic. And I definitely did a double take (those are always fun), when reaching for my water glass as I read the most important line of the book. Now I know why so many people were anxiously waiting for the third novel in the Millennium trilogy to be released… this book just ended. Without any sort of wrap up or tying of loose ends. On to the next!

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson

“After putting down the telephone the eighty-two-year-old birthday boy sat for a long time looking at the pretty but meaningless flower whose name he did not yet know. Then he looked up at the wall above his desk. There hung forty-three pressed flowers in their frames. Four rows of ten, and one at the bottom with four. In the top row one was missing from the ninth slot. Desert Snow would be number forty-four.”
– Prologue, pg. 6

“Armansky’s star researcher was a pale, anorexic young woman who had hair as short as a fuse, and a pierced nose and eyebrows. She had a wasp tattoo about an inch long on her neck, a tattooed loop around the biceps of her left arm and another around her left ankle. On those occasions when she had been wearing a tank top, Armansky also saw that she had a dragon tattoo on her left shoulder blade. She was a natural redhead, but she dyed her hair raven black. She looks as though she had just emerged from a week-long orgy with a gang of hard rockers.”
– Chapter 2, pg. 32

“She frowned. Blomkvist’s strange behavior in the courtroom had presented an interesting challenge, and Salander did not like aborting an assignment once she had started. People always have secrets. It’s just a matter of finding out what they are.” – Chapter 7, pg. 102

“As far as he could tell, she had been looking towards the corner of the building that housed Sundström’s Haberdashery. It was a perfectly normal corner of a building, where a cross street vanished behind it. What did you see there, Harriet?” – Chapter 16, pg. 237

So those were some of my favorite quotes from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson

I have heard that Larsson’s Millennium trilogy is supposed to be the Lord of the Rings of mystery novels. Maybe I have forgotten how bad this genre is, but I wasn’t that impressed. First off, it annoyed the heck out of me that it took 200 pages for the two main characters to meet. Not that Salamander (you can’t describe a character as lizard-like and then name her Salander) got much page time, despite the book’s misleading title. Although, I’m glad the publisher changed it from Men Who Hated Women, because that’s just plain stupid. Also, the author is clearly male – the casual sex thing Blomkvist had going with Berger would never fly in the real world. All women are jealous. At

least he got that right at the very end with Salamander …even though the age difference made me cringe (another inaccurate male fantasy). My last and biggest gripe: How freaking cliché can you get? They both independently discover who the killer is at the same time, stupidly refuse to involve the police, and then one of them confronts him ALONE leaving the other to save the day? Yeah, we’ve never seen that happen before. EVER. Of course, I’ll still be reading the next book just because Larsson never explained what ‘All The Evil’ meant and I want to find out what Robert Lindberg has to say for himself on his M-30 next Midsummer’s Eve.

Emma by Jane Austen

“The real evils, indeed, of Emma’s situation were the power of having rather too much her own way, and a disposition to think a little too well of herself: these were the disadvantages which threatened alloy to her many enjoyments. The danger, however, was at present so unperceived, that they did not by any means rank as misfortunes with her.” – Chapter 1, pg. 2

“I lay it down as a general rule, that if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him.” – Chapter 7, pg. 51

“Better to be without sense than misapply it as you do.” – Chapter 8, pg. 64

“I have none of the usual inducements of women to marry. Were I to fall in love, indeed, it would be a different thing; but I never have been in love; it is not my way, or my nature; and I do not think I ever shall. And, without love, I am sure I should be a fool to change such a situation as mine.”
– Chapter 10, pg. 87

“The first error, and worst, lay at her door. It was foolish, it was wrong, to take so active a part in bringing any two people together. It was adventuring too far, assuming too much, making light of what ought to be serious – a trick of what ought to be simple. She was quite concerned and ashamed, and resolved to do such things no more.” – Chapter 15, pg. 140

“It is only by seeing women in their own homes, among their own set, just as they always are, that you can form any just judgment. Short of that, it is all guess and luck – and will generally be ill-luck. How many a man has committed himself on a short acquaintance, and rued it all the rest of his life!” – Chapter 43, pg. 385

“I cannot make speeches, Emma. If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it.” – Chapter 49, pg. 445

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from Emma by Jane Austen.

After reading Pride & Prejudice, I was planning on tackling the rest of Jane Austen’s novels in the order they were published. But back in October, BBC (which I *think* stands for Bloody British Channel) released yet another Austen remake, so I watched it and fell in love with Romola Garai as Emma Woodhouse. And I’m glad I did, because I’ve heard Emma generally isn’t the

most likeable of Austen’s heroines and that Romola’s portrayal toned down the “stuck-up bitch” aspects of her character. Also, if I didn’t know that Mr. Knightley was going to end up as Emma’s love interest, I’m 99% sure that I would have felt like that pairing came out of nowhere… which were my exact thoughts when Cher realized she loved her stepbrother at the end of Clueless (uh, yeah, for those of you that didn’t know, apparently Clueless is a remake of Emma). And knowing Frank Churchill’s secret ahead of time made the reading experience that much better because I could pick up on the subtle hints Austen dropped (er, no, he’s not gay).

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis

“Do you think I care if Aslan dooms me to death? That would be nothing, nothing at all. Would it not be better to be dead than to have this horrible fear that Aslan has come and is not like the Aslan we have believed in and longed for?”– Chapter 3, pg. 30

“The Sons and Daughters of Adam and Eve were brought out of their own strange world into Narnia only at times when Narnia was stirred and upset, but you mustn’t think it was always like that. In between their visits there were hundreds and thousands of years when peaceful King followed peaceful King ‘till you could hardly remember their names or count their numbers, and there was really hardly anything to put into the history books.” – Chapter 8, pg. 99

“Remember that all worlds draw to an end and that noble death is a treasure which no one is too poor to buy.” – Chapter 8, pg. 103

“The spreading blackness was not a cloud at all: it was simply emptiness. The black part of the sky was the part in which there were no stars left. All the stars were falling: Aslan had called them home.” – Chapter 14, pg. 173

“I hoped that it might go on forever. I knew our world couldn’t, but I did think Narnia might. I saw it begin. I did not think I would live to see it die.”
– Chapter 14, pg. 182

“For us, this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.” – Chapter 16, pg. 211

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from The Chronicles of Narnia: The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis.

Finally done with Narnia! I was getting tired of reading children’s books. It makes no sense for Aslan to call on a bunch of kids to save his country. Why not John McClane or Jack Bauer? And what enjoyment do they get out of

visiting Narnia anyway? The world is three hundred years behind on technology. If some centaur told me to skin and gut my own dinner I’d be like, 'No thanks, take me to KFC, please.' I did, however, enjoy how the last few chapters tied everything together. James McAvoy (er, I mean Mr. Tumnus) even made an appearance! By this point in the series, despite my embarrassingly limited knowledge of Christian fairy tales, I figured Lewis was going to pull some apocalyptic stunt. But I wasn't expecting his vision of heaven to be so confusing: Narnias within Narnias, Englands within Englands? Let’s just get to the explanation of how they all died. Oh, train derailment. I guess technology isn’t so great after all…

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis

“We’ve brought the anger of Aslan on us. That’s what comes of not attending to the signs. We’re under a curse, I expect. If it was allowed, it would be the best thing we could do, to take these knives and drive them into our own hearts.”
– Chapter 9, pg. 129

“That is old Father Time, who was once a King in Overland. And now he has sunk down into the Deep Realm and lies dreaming of all the things that are done in the upper world. Many sink down, and few return to the sunlit lands. They say he will wake at the end of the world.” – Chapter 10, pg. 146

“Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things – trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play world which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play-world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia.” – Chapter 12, pg. 182

“Then he opened his mouth and blew. But this time they had no sense of flying through the air: instead, it seemed that they remained still, and the wild breath of Aslan blew away the ship and the dead King and the castle and the snow and the winter sky." – Chapter 16, pg. 237

“The opening into the hillside was left open, and often in hot summer days the Narnians go in there with ships and lanterns and down to the water and sail to and fro, singing, on the cool, dark underground sea, telling each other stories of the cities that lie fathoms deep below. If ever you have the luck to go to Narnia yourself, do not forget to have a look at those caves.”
– Chapter 16, pg. 243

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from The Chronicles of Narnia: The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis.

Wow, that Jill Pole girl really sucks at obeying simple instructions. I like how they still saved Prince Rilian (which, for some strange

reason, I kept reading in my head as Prince Ritalin) without following Aslan’s word. Allegory fail. I’m still not 100% sure what is meant by marsh-wiggle or Puddleglum, but I loved the description of the underworld. I’d like to see what Andrew Adamson and a little CGI could do with the Land of Bism. My only question: Where did this Queen of the Underland come from? How did she get into Narnia? C.S. Lewis never said anything about Digory and Polly bringing two witches into Narnia during The Magician’s Nephew. Ah, those tricky witches and their totalitarianism dictatorships...

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis

“What awaited them on this island was going to concern Eustace more than anyone else, but it cannot be told in his words because after September 11 he forgot about keeping his diary for a long time.” – Chapter 5, pg. 75

“Sleeping on a dragon’s hoard with greedy, dragonish thoughts in his heart, he had become a dragon himself.”
– Chapter 6, pg. 91

“But here part of the magic of the book came into play. You couldn’t turn back. The right-hand pages, the ones ahead, could be turned; the left-hand pages could not. And she could never remember what she had read; and ever since that day what Lucy means by a good story is a story which reminds her of the forgotten story in the Magician’s book.” – Chapter 10, pg. 157

“And every night they saw that there rose in the east new constellations which no one had ever seen in Narnia and perhaps, as Lucy thought with a mixture of joy and fear, no living eye had seen at all.” – Chapter 13, pg. 190

“Very soon after they had left Ramandu’s country they began to feel that they had already sailed beyond the world. All was different. For one thing they all found that they needed less sleep. One did not want to go to bed nor eat much, nor even to talk except in low voices. Another thing was the light. There was too much of it. The sun when it came up each morning looked twice, if not three times, its usual size.” – Chapter 15, pg. 218

“Do you mean to say that you three come from a round world and you’ve never told me? It’s really too bad of you. Because we have fairy-tales in which there are round worlds and I always loved them. I never believed there were any real ones. But I’ve always wished there were and I’ve always longed to live in one. I wonder why you can get into our world and we never get into yours? If I only had the chance! It must be exciting to live on a thing like a ball.” – Chapter 15, pg. 231

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis.

I almost liked this one as much as The Magician’s Nephew. It was a nice break from the format of the three previous books in the series (which all culminate

in some epic battle between your choice of witch, tyrant or neighboring nation). Instead, the characters sailed from undiscovered island to undiscovered island, allowing Lewis to put that crazy imagination of his to good use. And apparently Stardust wasn’t the first book about a star-person falling out of the sky (I’m on to you, Neil Gaiman). My only qualm with this story was when Aslan appeared as a lamb instead of a lion (I’m guessing that was some religious reference and not Twilight-related) and told the kids he has a different name in their/our world. I’m sure he meant God, but the first thing that came to my mind was 'Endangered species?'

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis

“If I hadn’t believed in Aslan before, I would now. Back there among the Humans the people who laughed at Aslan would have laughed at stories about Talking Beasts and Dwarfs. Sometimes I did wonder if there really was such a person as Aslan: but then sometimes I wondered if there were really people like you. Yet there you are.” – Chapter 5, pg. 70

“Lucy had the feeling (as you sometimes have when you are trying to remember a name or a date and almost get it, but it vanishes before you really do) that she had just missed something: as if she had spoken to the trees a split second too soon or a split second too late, or used all the right words except one, or put in one word that was just wrong.”
– Chapter 9, pg. 118

“They even thought they had struck an old path; but if you know anything about woods, you will know that one is always finding imaginary paths. They disappear after about five minutes and then you think you have found another (and hope it is not another but more of the same one) and it also disappears, and after you have been well lured out of your right direction you realize that none of them were paths at all.” – Chapter 9, pg. 120

“I’m hunger. I’m thirst. Where I bite, I hold till I die, and even after death they must cut out my mouthful from my enemy’s body and bury it with me. I can fast a hundred years and not die. I can lie a hundred nights on the ice and not freeze. I can drink a river of blood and not burst. Show me your enemies.”
– Chapter 12, pg. 166

“You come of the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve. And that is both honor enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth. Be content.” – Chapter 15, pg. 218

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis.

I haven’t watched the movie yet, but now I am curious to see what Hollywood does with the storyline. Prince Caspian’s rise to “leader of the rebellion”

seemed much too rushed. And Lewis certainly has a way of ditching the big battle to describe some boring side story (this time Aslan skipped around Narnia fixing water wells). I already dislike apples (to be specific: whole apples; sliced apples are fine), so all the apple eating they did in this book put me off a bit. Although, I liked when Aslan explained that the Telmarines are actually the descendants of shipwrecked pirates from our own world. I definitely rolled my eyes when right after this explanation, Aslan tells Peter and Susan they aren’t allowed back into Narnia because they are getting too old. Yes, older than a bunch of middle-aged pirates.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis

“She immediately began, sitting quite still and using a rather different tone and style from her usual one. For in Calormen, story-telling (whether the stories are true or made up) is a thing you’re taught, just as English boys and girls are taught essay writing. The difference is that people want to hear stories, whereas I never heard of anyone who wanted to read the essays.”
– Chapter 2, pg. 35

“Bree was not in the least trying to leave Shasta out of things, though Shasta sometimes nearly thought he was. People who know a lot of the same things can hardly help talking about them, and if you’re there you can hardly help feeling that you’re out of it.” – Chapter 3, pg. 44

“Having been brought up by a hard, closefisted man like Arsheesh, he had a fixed habit of never telling grown-ups anything if he could help it: he thought they would always spoil or stop whatever you were trying to do.”
– Chapter 5, pg. 74

“One of the worst results of being a slave and being forced to do things is that when there is no one to force you any more you find you have almost lost the power of forcing yourself.” – Chapter 9, pg. 137

“Shasta’s heart fainted at these words for he felt he had no strength left. And he writhed inside at what seemed the cruelty and unfairness of the demand. He had not yet learned that if you do one good deed your reward usually is to be set to do another and harder and better one.” – Chapter 10, pg. 146

“I have now lived a hundred and nine winters in this world and have never yet met any such thing as Luck. There is something about all this that I do not understand: but if ever we need to know it, you may be sure that we shall.”
– Chapter 10, pg. 148

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from The Chronicles of Narnia: The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis.

When half a book is about some never-ending journey through a forest (or worse, desert), I find it rather boring. Riding, walking, eating and sleeping. Riding, walking, eating and sleeping. Just freaking get there already! And this

book was a tad bit more predictable than the last. Twins separated at birth? One is a prince and one is pauper? Now, that's original! At least the Christian subtext was kept to a minimum. Although, I take it C.S. Lewis has beef with the Middle East? He explains that the people of Calormen don’t like overgrown cats, so instead of killing others in the name of Aslan, they pray (and make human sacrifices) to a different being named Tash. They are basically described as an evil, dark-skinned race (with bad tasting food and turbans) who are far inferior to the decent, white-skinned inhabitants of the North. I guess we know why Aladdin never came to Narnia’s rescue…

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

“She took a step further in – then two or three steps – always expecting to feel the woodwork against the tips of her fingers. But she could not feel it.”
– Chapter 1, pg. 7

“Perhaps it has sometimes happened to you in a dream that someone says something which you don’t understand but in the dream it feels as if it had some enormous meaning – either a terrifying one which turns the whole dream into a nightmare or else a lovely meaning too lovely to put into words, which makes the dream so beautiful that you remember it all your life and are always wishing you could get into that dream again.” – Chapter 7, pg. 68

“Though the Witch knew the deep magic, there is a magic deeper still which she did not know. Her knowledge goes back only to the dawn of time. But if she could have looked a little further back, into the stillness and the darkness before time dawned, she would have read there a different incantation.”
– Chapter 15, pg. 163

“One day you’ll see him and another you won’t. He doesn’t like being tied down – and of course he has other countries to attend to. It’s quite all right. He’ll often drop in. Only you mustn’t press him. He’s wild you know. Not like a tame lion.” – Chapter 17, pg. 182

“Yes, of course you’ll get back to Narnia again someday. Once a King in Narnia, always a King in Narnia. But don’t go trying to use the same route twice. Indeed, don’t try to get there at all. It’ll happen when you’re not looking for it. And don’t talk too much about it even amongst yourselves. And don’t mention it to anyone else unless you find they’ve had adventures of the same sort themselves. What’s that? How will you know? Oh, you’ll know all right. Odd things they say – even their looks – will let the secret out. Keep your eyes open.” – Chapter 17, pg. 189

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis.

I really dislike reading a book after I have already seen the movie. And while I’m on the subject, was not the 1979 animated version the scariest kid’s

movie ever?? I doubt parents nowadays would approve. The scene where they murdered Aslan was freaky as hell. At any rate, reading The Magician’s Nephew before this book was rather helpful. When Aslan says the White Witch knew of deep magic present at the dawn of time, it actually makes sense because she was there when Narnia was first created. Only one part – where Mr. Beaver explained the Witch’s bloodlines – had me on Google for 15 minutes searching for terms like ‘Lilith’ and ‘Jinn’. I’m still a little confused, but apparently Eve was not Adam’s first wife (man whore!) and the White Witch is related to Jafar. I’m guessing Aladdin didn’t own a wardrobe.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis

“This is a story about something that happened long ago when your grandfather was a child. It is a very important story because it shows how all the comings and goings between our own world and the land of Narnia first began.” – Chapter 1, pg. 3

“You must understand that rules of that sort, however excellent they may be for little boys – and even people in general – can’t possibly be expected to apply to profound students and great thinkers and sages. Men like me, who possess hidden wisdom, are freed from common rules just as we are cut off from common pleasures. Ours, my boy, is a high and lonely destiny.” – Chapter 2, pg. 21

“Make your choice, adventurous stranger. Strike the bell and bide the danger. Or wonder, till it drives you mad. What would have followed if you had?”
– Chapter 4, pg. 54

“The lion was pacing to and fro about that empty land and singing his new song. It was softer and more lilting than the song by which he had called up the stars and the sun; a gentle, rippling music. And as he walked and sang, the valley grew green with grass. It spread out from the lion like a pool. It ran up the sides of the little hills like a wave.” – Chapter 9, pg. 112

“For what you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing: it also depends on what sort of person you are.” – Chapter 10, pg. 136

“When you were last here, that hollow was a pool, and when you jumped into it you came to the world where a dying sun shone over the ruins of Charn. There is no pool now. That world has ended, as if it had never been. Let the race of Adam and Eve take warning.” – Chapter 15, pg. 193

“There was a great storm all over the south of England which blew the tree down. He couldn’t bear to have it simply chopped up for firewood, so he had part of the timber made into a wardrobe, which he put in his big house in the country.”– Chapter 15, pg. 201

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from The Chronicles of Narnia: The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis.

I thoroughly enjoyed learning about the origins of the lamppost and the wardrobe (funny, it never seemed odd to me that Narnia should have a lamppost), and the back-story of the White Witch was pretty interesting

(I guess it also never seemed odd to me that Narnia should have a witch). I definitely agree the books should be read in the order they were published. Well, at least read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe before this book. Otherwise the fun of learning about the origins of everything is lost. No doubt, Lewis is one gifted fantasy writer – the yellow and green rings, the Woods between the Worlds, Charn… it was all fine and dandy until the book turned into the freaking Bible. Son of Adam? A forbidden apple tree in the middle of a garden? I had been warned these books had Christian undertones, but I didn’t expect outright plagiarism! Try to annoy me more.

The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game by Michael Lewis

“In Lawrence Taylor’s first season in the NFL, no official records were kept of quarterback sacks. In 1982, after Taylor had transformed the quarterback sack into the turning point of a football game, a new official NFL statistic was born.”
– Chapter 1, pg. 14

“Michael Oher had a measured IQ of 80, which put him in mankind’s 9th percentile. An aptitude test he had taken in the eighth grade had measured his “ability to learn” and ranked him in the 6th percentile. The numbers looked like misprints: in a rich white private school, under the column marked ‘percentile,’ you never saw single digit numbers. Of course, logically, you knew such people must exist; for someone to be in the 99th percentile, someone else had to be in the 1st. But you didn’t expect to meet them at Briarcrest Christian School.” – Chapter 3, pg. 45

“Without uttering a peep, the kid had become the talk of the school. Everyone was frightened of him, until they realized that he was far more terrified of them.” – Chapter 3, pg. 57

“One of his more talented teammates, Joseph Crone, thought Michael Oher’s main contribution came before the game, when the opposing team stumbled out of their locker room or their bus, and took the measure of the Briarcrest Christian School. ‘They’d see all of us,’ said Crone, ‘and then they’d see Mike and say, oh crap.’” – Chapter 4, pg. 69

“Bill Walsh made the quarterback a lot more valuable, and so the man who protected the quarterback was going to be a whole lot more valuable, too. Whoever he was, he was going to have to be special.” – Chapter 5, pg. 113

“Leigh Anne snapped the family Christmas card picture and sent it out to several hundred friends and distant relatives, without it ever occurring to her that most of the recipients would have no idea about the strange new addition to the family. A few weeks later, the phone rang late one night. It was a North Carolina cousin. ‘All right,’ he blurted into the phone. ‘Who the hell is this black kid in y’all’s Christmas card?’” – Chapter 7, pg. 147

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from The Blind Side by Michael Lewis.

Two years ago, while watching the Super Bowl (don’t bother asking me who was playing or which team won), my guy friend told me about this book. He insisted that I would love it even though I didn’t know the first thing about

football (expect that it's not soccer). I humored him and continued to root for the team with the prettiest colors, cutest mascot or sexiest quarterback, not truly believing I could endure 300 pages of sports lingo. I ended up buying the book a few weeks later and stashing it under my bed until I heard Sandra Bullock was to star in the movie adaptation. Turns out my friend was right: I laughed, I cried, I laughed again, I went through ten boxes of Kleenex, and I actually learned a little bit about the invention of “the passing game” and how some guy named Lawrence Taylor is responsible for the increased interest in the left tackle position. I feel so well-rounded.

The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins

“Intelligent life on a planet comes of
age when it first works out the reason for its own existence. If superior creatures from space ever visit earth, the first question they will ask, in order to assess the level of our civilization, is: 'Have they discovered evolution yet?'”
– Chapter 1, pg. 1

“Be warned that if you wish, as I do, to build a society in which individuals cooperate generously and unselfishly towards a common good, you can expect little help from biological nature. Let us try to teach generosity and altruism, because we are born selfish. Let us understand what our own selfish genes are up to, because we may then at least have the chance to upset their designs, something that no other species has ever aspired to.” – Chapter 1, pg. 3

“Before the coming of life on earth, some rudimentary evolution of molecules could have occurred by ordinary processes of physics and chemistry. There is no need to think of design or purpose or directedness. If a group of atoms in the presence of energy falls into a stable pattern it will tend to stay that way. The earliest form of natural selection was simply a selection of stable forms and a rejection of unstable ones. There is no mystery about this. It had to happen by definition.” – Chapter 2, pg. 13

“Evolution is blind to the future.” – Chapter 9, pg. 162

“Replicators are no longer peppered freely throughout the sea; they are packaged in huge colonies - individual bodies. But the individual body, so familiar to us on our planet, did not have to exist. The only kind of entity that has to exist in order for life to arise, anywhere in the universe, is the immortal replicator.” – Chapter 13, pg. 266

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins.

If it wasn’t copyright infringement, I would quote the entire second chapter of this book! Dawkins' argument for how life could have begun (without the help of divine intervention) is incredible! As an atheist, I do not base my morals or personal principles on anyone’s explanation of the origins of life. Jesus could have been wrong, just as Dawkins’ theory could be disproved in the years to come. Neither of these revelations will change how I act towards others or

feel about my own life. But the explanation provided in this book is exhilarating because it follows that humans are nothing – nothing but survival machines (to use Dawkins’ terminology) molded by natural selection and used by our egotistical genes for their own selfish propagation. How depressing! But oh, how liberating! To have no purpose in life (other than to house and spread our genes) is a scary thought, to be sure, but frees each of us from the shackles of some predetermined reason for existing. If you wish to make light of it all, you can thank Richard Dawkins for successfully reasoning that you are required to do no more in life than keep yourself alive and have sex!

Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls

“She wore tight corsets to give her a teeny waist – I helped her lace them up – but they had the effect of causing her to faint. Mom called it the vapors and said that it was a sign of her high breeding and delicate nature. I thought it was a sign that the corset made it hard to breathe.” – Chapter 1, pg. 18

“I always figured horses are smarter than they let on. Kind of like the Indians who pretend they can’t speak English because no good ever came from talking with the Anglos.” – Chapter 1, pg. 22

“Mom hinted a couple of times that it was good I was going to college, since with one failed marriage behind me, I’d have trouble landing a good husband and would need something to fall back on. ‘A package that’s been opened once doesn’t have the same appeal,’ she said.” – Chapter 4, pg. 89

“When people kill themselves, they think they’re ending the pain, but all they’re doing is passing it on to those they leave behind.” – Chapter 5, pg. 113

“For the most part, pioneers and ranchers didn’t have the time or money for gift giving and tree trimming, and they tended to treat Christmas like Prohibition, another eastern aberration that wasn’t of much concern to them. A couple of years back, when some missionaries were trying to dazzle the Navajos into converting, they had a gift-bearing Santa Claus jump out of a plane, but his parachute didn’t open, and he landed with a thud in front of the Indians, convincing them – and most of the rest of us – that the less we had to do with jolly old Saint Nick, the better off we’d be.” – Chapter 6, pg. 176

“Anyone who thinks he’s too small to make a difference has never been bit by a mosquito.” – Chapter 8, pg.246

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls.

I’m pleasantly surprised this book didn’t make me want to kill someone. Unlike The Glass Castle, I actually liked the main characters. (I think their hatred for Rex Walls might have had something to do with it). Perhaps, this time around, I was mentally prepared for the author’s exaggerations.

However, what's up with the contradictory statement on the cover? A true-life novel? That makes sense. Walls even admits in the acknowledgments that she never talked to her grandmother. Instead, her mom was "so very unfailingly generous with her stories, memories and observations.” Or, in other words, Rose Mary made up a bunch of crap that wasn’t true and Jeannette used it to write another “interesting woman” story where she could throw in the book’s title about a half a dozen times. I do love her sense of humor though. Plus, it was a very quick read. Just steer clear if you are of Mormon faith – there is a good chance you might be offended.

I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert

“Just because I haven’t put a lot of thought into this book doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t. What I have dictated is nothing less than a Constitution for the Colbert Nation. And, like our Founding Fathers, I hold my Truths to be self-evident, which is why I did absolutely no research.”
– Introduction, pg. ix

“We are at war. And I’m not talking about the war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan, or the war on drugs. I’m talking about a war with higher stakes than all of those other wars combined and then divided by three.” – Chapter 1, pg. 5

“There’s more to being a father than taking kids to Chuck E. Cheese’s and supplying the occasional Y-chromosome. A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?” – Chapter 1, pg. 7

“If a butterfly flaps its wings in one part of the world, it could cause people at the opposite end of the globe to watch a Discovery Channel special on butterflies.” – Chapter 4, pg. 47

“A recent survey published in the American Sociological Review revealed that atheists are the least trusted group in America – less trusted, even, than homosexuals. It makes sense – at least we trust the homosexuals with our hair.” – Chapter 4, pg.61

“Every society has its own class structure with a unique number of classes. India has one of the most rigid and complex class structures. Based upon their behavior in past lives, all Indians are born into different stratas of society called 'castes.' These castes forever determine what level of tech support questions they are allowed to answer.” – Chapter 11, pg. 162

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert.

I advise against reading this in a public place – I honestly laughed out loud at least a dozen times! I freaking love this man’s show. Although, someone from Charter needs to address the fact that my DVR records repeats of the Colbert Report even after I program it to only record new episodes. Perhaps my cable

company has a deal with Comedy Central? At any rate, it’s funny how you can practically hear Stephen saying the words in your head as you read them. There were some parts of his book that were rather dull, but I think I’ll attribute this to having read the entire thing in one sitting. You can only take so much comedy in a twenty-four hour period. Perhaps this is the reason his show is only thirty minutes long? Still, Colbert brings the satirical genius. As said by an anonymous reviewer on Amazon: "If I had a womb and the other necessary parts, I would offer to bear Stephen Colbert's children because America needs more people like him." Amen.

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

“Everything seems simple until you think about it. Why is love intensified by absence? Long ago, men went to sea, and women waited for them, standing on the edge of the water, scanning the horizon for the tiny ship. Now I wait for Henry. He vanishes unwillingly, without warning. I wait for him. Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity. Each moment is as slow and transparent as glass. Through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. Why has he gone where I cannot follow?”
– Chapter 1, pg. 1

"Think for a minute, darling: in fairy tales it's always the children who have the fine adventures. The mothers have to stay at home and wait for the children to fly in the window."
– Chapter 8, pg. 126

"Don't you think that it's better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it, than to be just okay for your whole life?" – Chapter 13, pg. 231

"I never understood why Clark Kent was so hell bent on keeping Lois Lane in the dark." – Chapter 36, pg. 446

“Sleep erases all differences: then and now; dead and living. I am past hunger, past vanity, past caring. This morning I caught sight of my face in the bathroom mirror. I am paper skinned, gaunt, yellow, ring-eyed, hair matted. I look dead. I want nothing.” – Chapter 44, pg. 501

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.

Is there an editor in the house? This book did not need to be 518 pages. I actually started and stopped this book months ago because I didn't like the idea of a 40-year-old man visiting his future wife as a six year old. Naked. Did

you get that? Naked. Publisher: This has best seller written all over it! Me: ...Really? Only my love for Rachel McAdams forced me to give Niffenegger a second chance. At least she would occasionally whip out some crazy/disturbing situation right in the middle of a boring chapter. You know, some so-sick-it-sticks plot twist (say that five times fast). Watch, in 2025 I'll be sitting on some train to Vienna minding my own business when out of nowhere I'll remember how Henry's future self gave himself a blow job or how Clare had a miscarriage because their baby time traveled out of her uterus and ended up a bloody mess in the bed next to her. Joy.

My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult

“Gamma rays, leukemia, parenthood. It is the things you cannot see coming that are strong enough to kill you.”
– Chapter 10, pg, 105

“Summertime, I think, is a collective unconscious. We all remember the notes that made up the song of the ice cream man; we all know what it feels like to brand our thighs on a playground slide that’s heated up like a knife in a fire; we all have lain on our backs with our eyes closed and our hearts beating across the surface of our lids, hoping that this day will stretch just a little longer than the last one, when in fact it’s all going in the other direction.” – Chapter 29, pg. 279

“Change isn’t always for the worst; the shell that forms around a piece of sand looks to some people like an irritation, and to others, like a pearl.”
– Chapter 37, pg. 350

“I realize then that we never have children, we receive them. And sometimes it’s not for quite as long as we would have expected or hoped. But it is still far better than never having had those children at all.” – Chapter 46, pg. 395

“None of us is obligated to go into a fire and save someone else from a burning building. But all that changes if you’re a parent and the person in that burning building is your child. If that’s the case, not only would everyone understand if you ran in to get your child – they’d expect it of you. In my life, that building was on fire, one of my children was in it – and the only opportunity to save her was to send in my other child, because she was the only one who knew the way.” – Chapter 51, pg. 406

“As much as you want to hold on to the bitter sore memory that someone has left this world, you are still in it. And the very act of living is a tide: at first it seems to make no difference at all, and then one day you look down and see how much pain has eroded.” – Chapter 56, pg. 422

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult.

The first time I heard about this book was back in 2006 during a group discussion for my Issues in Biotechnology capstone course. My classmate made it sound like an interesting PGD read (which stands for preimplantation genetic diagnosis and not some variation of the MPAA’s film rating system),

so I made a mental note to pick it up someday. Fast forward three years (has it really been that long?), and I find out my favorite 6-year-old, Olivia Hancock, is starring in the movie opposite Cameron Diaz. My best friend is Olivia’s babysitter from time to time. I took her to the zoo once, bought her a stuffed giraffe. Woo-hoo, I’m basically famous (note the sarcasm). So my goal was to read the book before seeing the movie. It’s your typical Picoult. Lots of viewpoint switcheroos, similes (a few that didn’t make any sense), an endless supply of in-your-face metaphors, and your obligatory surprise ending. On the grocery list this week: Kleenex.

The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory

“Everyone knew that he was courting me, everyone knew that I would consent when I was ordered to do so. The only person who did not know this was the king. He thought that the pace of the courtship was determined by his desire.” – Chapter 2, pg. 35

“Oh what a tragedy queen! You can smile when your heart is breaking because you are a woman, and a courtier, and a Howard. That’s three reasons for being the most deceitful creature on God’s green earth.”
– Chapter 4, pg. 98

“If there had been money on it I think I would be getting out my purse. You Boleyns only lose when there is nothing to gain by winning.” – Chapter 5, pg. 125

“We are making a new order. A new world. There is talk of the end of the authority of the Pope, the map of France and Spain is being redrawn. Everything is changing, and here we are, at the very front of the change. But you cannot refuse me. The world’s not changed that much yet. Men still rule.” – Chapter 11, pg. 191

“He was the father of my children and yet he would have no interest in them until they were old enough for him to use as counters in the game of inheritance. He had been my lover for years and yet it had been my task to make sure that he never knew me. As he lay on me, I felt as lonely as if I were the ship which bore my name, out all alone at sea.” – Chapter 13, pg. 211

“‘I have to be queen,’ was all she said. ‘And you have to help me. You know that’s how it is, Mary. Only a fool rails against the way the dice fall.’ ‘They’re weighted dice when I play with you,’ I said.” – Chapter 21, pg. 313

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory.

I must be a plot junkie. Even if a book is written badly, I just have to know what happens next. Had I paid any attention in history class, I doubt I would have been turning pages like paper is going out of style (damn you, Kindle).

But since I had no clue what would happen to Anne Boleyn (much less Mary), I found myself nervously fretting over whether this pregnancy would finally result in a boy for the throne. Don’t get me wrong: the character development is terrible. Zero sympathy for either of the Boleyn girls (and pretty much everyone else in the story). My biggest problem with the book was the repetitiveness of it all: spring, summer, fall, winter. I understand seasons repeat, but that doesn’t mean Gregory’s writing must do the same (and by same, I mean 661 pages of same). The most interesting stuff was the witchcraft and incest. Too bad that didn’t make an appearance until page… what? 660?

My Friend Leonard by James Frey

“Sometimes I talk to the paintings, to the figures in the paintings. I ask a farmer how’s the weather, I ask a singer what’s the song, I ask a baby what’s your name, I ask a young woman why are you crying? I stand in front of Vincent’s self-portrait. Vincent who knew pain and failure, who knew self-doubt and insanity, who cut off his ear, who shot himself. I know Vincent well. I have nothing to say to him.”
– Chapter 17, pg. 95

“I meet a man at a bar while I’m waiting for my friends. He says he’s forty-five, he looks like he’s twenty-five. I ask him if he has a secret he says never get angry and be as immature as you can for as long as you can get away with it. A man sitting next to him laughs and says that's bullshit, the great secret is eat food and drink beer till you drop.” – Chapter 19, pg. 105

“There is peace in pain so overwhelming that it shuts down all feeling. It is the only peace I know.” – Chapter 20, pg. 106

“It takes a brave man to walk away, to care so much that he doesn’t care about anything else, to be willing to obey what he feels inside, to be willing to suffer the consequences of living for himself.” – Chapter 25, pg. 129

“The bars are filled with beautiful young people. It’s as if the three best-looking people from every town in the country have come to Los Angeles. Everyone wants to be famous, everyone is well-connected. Everyone is just a step or two away they’re waiting for that break it’s almost there they can taste it fucking taste it.” – Chapter 50, pg. 220

“Leonard asks me if there’s anything I need to know before he dies, I think about it for a minute, turn to him, say what’s the meaning of life, Leonard? He laughs, says that’s an easy one, my son, it’s whatever you want it to be.”
– Chapter 91, pg. 336

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from My Friend Leonard by James Frey.

I regret reading this. Damn sequels. I was happy thinking Frey had managed to overcome his addictions all by himself. But no, he had Leonard (the leader of an organized crime operation), who spoiled him with steak dinners, Picasso paintings, courtside basketball seats… you name it. Then tops it all off by leaving Frey a massive amount of money (does he really expect us to believe

he turned it down?). I think having a sugar daddy like Leonard would get anyone through the post-rehab blues. Too bad Frey himself admits there’s not much truth to his memoirs. I’m starting to feel like running through my local Borders with a big, fat Sharpie (the cool, clickety-click retractable kind) and crossing out the word “memoir” anywhere I see it. When did society decide ‘based on a true story’ wasn’t good enough? Oh well. I’m just surprised his repeated omission of punctuation (same as the first book) didn’t bother me too much. Maybe I read so fast my mind puts the periods and commas in for me? I’d make a terrible editor.

A Million Little Pieces by James Frey

“I am an alcoholic and a drug addict
and a criminal. I am worse than I have ever been in my life. I am in a clinic somewhere in Minnesota. I want to drink and I want to smoke crack even though I know drinking and smoking crack are killing me. I am alone. If I leave the clinic my family and my remaining friends will write me off. I hate myself so much that I can’t look myself in the eye. I hate myself so much that suicide seems like a reasonable option. I have destroyed every meaningful relationship I’ve ever had. I am vomiting for the seventh time today. The seventh fucking time. I can't do this anymore. I cannot continue to live this way. I cannot continue to live this way.” – Chapter 7, pg. 70

“I have been to AA meetings and I find their philosophy to be one of replacement. Replacement of one addiction with another addiction. Replacement of a chemical for a God and a meeting. There is no higher power or any God who is responsible for what I do and for what I have done and for who I am. There is no higher power or any God who will cure me. There is no meeting where any amount of whining, complaining and blaming is going to make me feel any better.” – Chapter 7, pg. 70

“Though they function as human beings, they function because of their meetings and their dogma and their God. Take away their meetings and their dogma and they have nothing. Take them away and they are back where they started. They have an addiction. Addictions need fuel. I am not convinced meetings and a dogma and a God can fuel mine. If joining AA is the only way to cure me, then I’m completely fucked.” – Chapter 7, pg. 72

“Addicts, as a group, generally score far above average on intelligence tests. I guess maybe we’re smart enough to have figured out how shitty things are and we decide addiction is the only way to deal with it.” – Chapter 10, pg. 149

“I don’t believe that addiction is a disease. Cancer is a disease. It takes over the body and destroys it. Addiction is not a disease. Not even close. Diseases are destructive medical conditions that human beings do not control. It cannot be dealt with using a group or a set of steps. It cannot be dealt with by talking about it. Addiction is a decision. It is a difficult one to make, but it is still a decision.” – Chapter 15, pg. 291

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from A Million Little Pieces by James Frey.

Frey did not disappoint. I was expecting him to pull a 180 on me and accept the AA bullshit. Instead, he stayed atheist and did better than all those lame Twelve Steppers combined. I really like his outlook on addiction and how he

says it’s not a disease, but a choice. The idea that AA is replacing one addiction with another is great. He's totally right. As for the whole Smoking Gun/Oprah controversy: I could care less if Lily slit her wrists instead of hanging herself (I'm just glad she's dead), or if the amount of time Frey spent in jail wasn’t actually three months, or if he didn’t really hit a police office with his car. You mean to tell me everything in a memoir must be 100% true? Because I’ve got a feeling that oxford shirt he borrowed from Warren was blue, not white (Gasp!). If anything, we should be concerned about Jeanette Wall’s memoir. Now there’s an author who has obviously lied to us.

My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey by Jill Bolte Taylor

“Everything in my visual world blended together, and with every pixel radiating energy, we all flowed en masse, together as one. It was impossible for me to distinguish the physical boundaries between objects because everything radiated with similar energy. It’s probably comparable to when people take off their glasses or put eye drops into their eyes – the edges become softer.” – Chapter 7, pg. 69

“In this shifted perception, it was impossible for me to perceive either physical or emotional loss because I was not capable of experiencing separation or individuality. Despite my neurological trauma, an unforgettable sense of peace pervaded my entire being and I felt calm.” – Chapter 7, pg. 70

“Recovery is often derailed by hopelessness.” – Chapter 11, pg. 95

“Peace is only a thought away, and all we have to do to access it is silence the voice of our dominating left mind.” – Chapter 13, pg. 111

“Feeling deep inner peace and sharing kindness is always a choice. Forgiving others and forgiving myself is always a choice. Seeing this moment as a perfect moment is always a choice. I’ve often wondered, if it’s a choice, then why would anyone choose anything other than happiness?”
– Chapter 19, pg. 172

“Knowing that I am a part of the cosmic flow makes me feel innately safe and experience my life as heaven on earth. How can I feel vulnerable when I cannot be separated from the greater whole? My left mind thinks of me as a fragile individual capable of losing life. My right mind realizes that the essence of my being has eternal life. Although I may lose these cells and my ability to perceive this three-dimensional world, my energy will merely absorb back into the tranquil sea of euphoria. Knowing this leaves me grateful for the time I have here as well as enthusiastically committed to the well-being of the cells that constitute my life.” – Chapter 19, pg. 160

So those were some of my favorite book quotes from My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey by Jill Bolte Taylor.

Basically, this smart-as-hell Harvard brain scientist has a stroke (irony at its best). A malformed blood vessel ruptures and screws up the part of her brain responsible for discerning the physical boundaries of where our bodies end

and the rest of the world begins (this part is called the orientation-association cortex or OAC). She tries to describe what this feels like, giving the expression ‘at one with the universe’ a whole new meaning. I really like this idea: We are nothing more than our cells, which are nothing more than molecules, which are nothing more than atoms, which all spin with similar energy in this place we call the universe. Our cells actually have to trick us into believing there are boundaries that separate “us” from everything else. In fact, a whole part of our brain is dedicated to this trickery. Who knew! Now my lack of coordination makes sense. I blame my OAC.